How to handle difficult conversations in your early career: from salary negotiation to solving conflict

Many professionals struggle with difficult conversations in the workplace, particularly when emotions run high. Your first performance review, for example, was probably uncomfortable. Here’s why.

What makes these conversations challenging isn’t just the subject matter, but the discomfort, tension or uncertainty about how the other person will react.

Neuroscience research shows that when conflict is anticipated, the amygdala — the emotional centre of the brain — activates, flooding the body with stress hormones and making it harder to think clearly and respond calmly.

For some, past negative experiences can amplify this response, making conflict feel even more distressing. As a result, people react differently: some freeze, others become defensive and some avoid interacting altogether.

While avoidance often feels like the easier path in the short term, it can lead to reduced trust, strained workplace dynamics and even missed career opportunities.

However, with awareness and preparation, you can learn to manage this stress response and approach difficult conversations with confidence.

Preparing yourself for these conversations

Conflict is a significant source of stress in the workplace. Employees who cite conflict as their primary source of stress lose about 55 days of productivity per year. This issue is particularly critical for early-career supervisors, for whom conflict resolution is an essential leadership skill.

Understanding why these conversations feel difficult — and learning how to approach them effectively — can help you build stronger workplace relationships, enhance your credibility as a manager and create a more positive professional environment.

One strategy for reducing stress around these conversations is to reframe them as opportunities to strengthen professional relationships. When handled well, these difficult conversations can help you feel more in control of your career and workplace interactions.

Here are three difficult conversations you’ll likely face early in your career, along with strategies for how to navigate them effectively.

1. The salary negotiation

Many new professionals hesitate to negotiate their salary, fearing they’ll be seen as ungrateful or too demanding. Others worry about damaging their relationship with their employer.

However, advocating for fair compensation is not just about money — it’s about recognising your value and setting the foundation for your career growth. To navigate this conversation effectively:

• Do your research: before engaging in the conversation, study salary benchmarks. Resources like Glassdoor and Indeed can help you do this, as well as seeking advice from your network.
• Frame your value strategically: highlight your skills, achievements and your contributions to the organisation, emphasising measurable impact.

2. Setting boundaries at work

Feeling the pressure to prove yourself by agreeing to every request is natural, particularly when you are trying to get established in your field. While a strong work ethic is valuable, consistently overextending yourself can lead to burnout.

Learning how to communicate your limits can help you maintain long-term productivity and professionalism. To address this conversation:

• Know your priorities: before setting boundaries, understand what’s reasonable for you. Do you perform best with structured work-life balance, or do you prefer a flexible work-life integration approach? Does your work require uninterrupted, focused work?
• Focus on organisational success: instead of framing boundaries as personal limitations, explain how they contribute to overall team efficiency. For instance: “If I can schedule deep-focus time in the morning, I’ll be able to deliver higher-quality work more efficiently.”

3. Addressing workplace conflict

Disagreements and miscommunications are inevitable in any workplace. Addressing workplace conflicts with emotional intelligence and professionalism is key to maintaining strong relationships and credibility. Instead of avoiding the conversation, approach it with curiosity and a focus on problem-solving:

• Seek first to understand: before jumping to conclusions, gather all relevant information and reflect on possible perspectives. Could there have been a miscommunication? Was there an external factor at play?
• Use future-focused language: avoid accusatory statements and keep the conversation future-orientated toward solutions. You could say, for example: “Let’s establish a process so we’re aligned moving forward.”

By handling these conversations directly and professionally, you demonstrate leadership skill. Addressing misunderstandings openly and respectfully also contributes to a healthier and more collaborative workplace for everyone’s benefit.

Why these conversations matter

Successfully navigating difficult workplace conversations requires preparation, self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Rather than allowing unresolved tensions to escalate — or pushing you to consider leaving a job — remind yourself that discomfort is temporary. Being able to cope with feeling uncomfortable is an important career skill to develop.

Whether it’s negotiating your salary, setting boundaries or resolving misunderstandings, these discussions can influence your professional reputation and how colleagues and managers treat you in the workplace.

Taking proactive steps to engage in these conversations with confidence can set the foundation for sustained career success. Start practising these conversations now; the sooner you start, the more skilled you’ll become, and your future self will thank you.

This is a guest post by Leda Stawnychko, Assistant Professor of Strategy and Organisational Theory, Mount Royal University, and Anamika Choudhary, PhD Candidate in Neuroscience, University of Calgary. This is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.